Evie

by Lindsey Duffin

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1.
02:53
i thought i'd go away you let me stay the movies scare me you didn't care about what i could do if i left with all your secrets i'll let it go for now all the things in my car be damned if you really mean what you say then i don't have to find another way i thought i'd go away you let me stay the movies scare me
2.
you don't ever take me for my words and my actions why do i why do i speak not so clever not too hard to have your beliefs why should i why should i speak when i'm already guilty of what you perceive i've had a lot of time to think about the way it all turned out and how i've lived without any trust and any confidence from you i've had a lot of time to think about the way it all turned out and how i've lived without any trust and any confidence from you not so clever not too hard to have your beliefs why should i why should i speak when i'm already guilty of what you perceive why should i why should i speak
3.
04:05
you taught me well to be afraid what would i do but listen to what you say it's what i want to feel good and i hear the storm over the woods and i feel alright don't pass the time when i hear the thunder i hear the thunder you're running wild and calm your child he only wonders why you cry you saving face is what i gave and what a selfish way to never repay and i feel alright don't pass the time when i hear the thunder i hear the thunder you're running wild and calm your child he only wonders why you cry (you are never gonna get to me, never gonna get to me like you did when i was younger, i was younger then) you never let it go you never let it
4.
03:27
get off your "make me better" you're making me sad the lessons tell me i'm bad and i'm so bored and i'd rather leave and if you wanna ask me i'm not over it but i really wanna be it's the last thing i need and if you lowered your stubborn will swallow a hard pill and make it easier on the rest of us i'm not over it nine a.m. it's later still but all your faces make me wake up at night let up you're just as fed up as i am oh, well now it's a show and we have to go you never ask me you never ask me so i'm not over it so i'm not over it so i'm not over it but i really wanna be it's the last thing i need and if you lowered your stubborn will swallow a hard pill and make it easier on the rest of us i'm not over it i'm not over it make me better make me better
5.
i am just a product of your rich thought that you put forth and abandoned i have plated new theories and i only taste your mind i am growing thinner still until i realize i am disappearing oh, i have lost my soul i have lost my soul how do i how do i and all i want is to bring in the new and out the old "my religion" bringing me all the way to hear and now and all i want is to bring in the new and out the old "my religion" bringing me all the way to hear and now light up all the candles from your altar in the corner grabbing dust oh, i was on a journey then now i'm starting over again i could pray to any name or anything that wants to make a promise oh, i have lost my soul i have lost my soul oooooooooooo ooooo how do i how do i and all i want is to bring in the new and out the old "my religion" bringing me all the way to hear and now and all i want is to bring in the new and out the old "my religion" bringing me all the way to hear and now
6.
04:18
do holidays bring you together do weddings make you stay forever does tradition keep you from losing your mind to celebrate or make a promise to hug and kiss and laugh and vomit have it your way for a lifetime the role of mother and father of mine and i'm caught in a sea of flesh and blood telling me who i am who i was i'm twelve and i don't need a god who forgives and loves does giving take the pain away to pray the devil stays away is religion sought out from your depths and core if your belief is who you are how did you not search some more have it your way formed by your past and i'm caught in a sea of flesh and blood telling me who i am who i was i'm twelve and i don't need a god who forgives and loves from losing your mind i'm twelve and i don't need a god who forgives and loves
7.
love like poison melting snow grass with stickers never stopped growth and i was very fond of all my surroundings didn't like what people carried all the stubborn ways to move and latch their bodies oooooo daring sequel to your notes you've made it far and have further more to go devil language speak through my recorder she saw me press rewind and saw the devil in me they found the devil in me she saw the devil in me they found the devil in me
8.
03:11
i spent my time trying just to lose my mind i felt the earth tugging back like i was hurt and i keep on walking back over the window and i felt that priest-like presence over the weak and cold and i felt that priest-like presence over the weak and cold i felt the earth tugging back like i was hurt and i keep on walking back over the window and i felt that priest-like presence over the weak and cold

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released June 26, 2020

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Lindsey Duffin Bellingham, Washington

i love to sing, write, and do other things.

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